When I was a kid, my dad always said, “Close your window. We aren’t heating the outdoors,” and “Don’t use the air conditioner in the car. Just roll down your window.” But the line that put me over the top was, “Don’t use the fan when you’re in the shower. You’re letting all the heat out.”

So now I’m a grown up, and sometimes I drive in the summer with my windows rolled down and the air conditioner blasting. And the fan when I’m taking a shower thing? All. The. Time.

The way I see it, my dad pushed me into this environmental rebel thing, and now we have global warming. Sorry about that, world.