Let’s start with my basic bread recipe. It works great in my bread machine:

• 3 cups wheat flour
• 1 1/3 cups water
• 1 egg
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons vital wheat gluten
• 1 1/4 teaspoon quick rising yeast

Start with the egg in a measuring cup and add warm water to make 1 1/3 cups of liquid. The water and egg mixture goes into the bread maker pan, and then add the brown sugar, salt, and olive oil. Gently add the flour so it makes a layer above the liquid, then add the vital wheat gluten and yeast.

If you have a wheat bread setting on your bread maker, use that. If you have a light crust setting, go with that, too. If your dough feels too dry as it’s mixing, add a tablespoon or so of water. You want your dough to feel tacky but not too sticky. Too dry is also bad.

Now for my bacon variation: Just cook up some bacon in a skillet and use the left over grease in place of the olive oil. You need to let it cool some ahead of time, otherwise it’ll make the egg kind of clotty and may raise the overall temperature too much for the yeast.

Also, be ready to add an extra tablespoon or two of flour. I found that my bacon dough was way too gooey, so I had to toss in a little extra flour while it was mixing.

Once your bread finishes baking let it sit on a cooling rack for about an hour before you even think about cutting it. I know this sounds practically impossible, but trust me. Your bread is still cooking and needs time to finish doing its thing before you slice it up.

And for my vegan friends: Skip the egg and go with just water. Most people won’t have any idea that you did and your bread is animal-free. It’s up to you if you want to consider bacon grease vegan-safe.

Your bread won’t taste like bacon loaf, but has a slightly softer and more elastic feel than my regular bread. Plus, you have a great excuse to make some bacon.

OK, gang, fire up your bread makers!

So now I’m a grown up, and sometimes I drive in the summer with my windows rolled down and the air conditioner blasting. And the fan when I’m taking a shower thing? All. The. Time.

The way I see it, my dad pushed me into this environmental rebel thing, and now we have global warming. Sorry about that, world.

The supplies: Paper, scissors, clear tape, stapler.

You’ll need six square pieces of paper; any color you like. I typically start with letter-size sheets (8.5-inches by 11-inches), fold then at an angle to make a triangle, then cut off the end that’s left sticking out. You need the square folded in the triangle shape for the next step, so don’t unfold it.

Fold your triangle shape in half to make a smaller triangle, and break out the scissors. It’s time to start cutting.

Make three cuts starting from the first fold running parallel to the open edge. Try to keep your cuts about the same distance apart and stop about half an inch from the second fold.

Unfold your paper so it’s a square again and grab the tape. Curl the center cuts together to make a tube, then tape the ends together to hold the shape.

Turn the paper over and curl back the next set of cuts just as you did with the first. After you tape the ends together, turn the paper over and curl and tape again two more times to finish up your first ornament piece. You’ll need to make five more, so hop to it.

Now take three of the ornament parts and staple them together at one end. Do the same with the other three. If all goes well, you now have two half circles.

Put the two stapled end together and staple again. Do you have a circle, now? Good. We’re almost done.

Staple the outer paper arch from each piece together to keep your ornament from drooping. This’ll keep that nice round shape when your ornament is hanging.

And that’s it. Your 3D paper snowflake ornament is done. The nieces caught on quick and spent two days making and decorating ornaments. I think I need more paper.

Yes, that’s the TARDIS in the distance. Yes, I spent about five minutes in Photoshop making that happen. I’m pretty sure Bowie Base One is somewhere just out of the shot. Just kidding. Curiosity is in Gale Crater, and Bowie Base One is in Gustav Crater.

And I have to wonder: Does the TARDIS engine sound as powerful in the thin atmosphere on Mars?

Want to see the full panorama with the TARDIS? No problem; here you go.

Just to give you an idea how much of an impact this has on my daily life: I had to find soap that doesn’t have any scent at all. Essential oils count, too, so that really limits my soap choices. I can’t go down the detergent aisle at the grocery store, so I have to find someone to grab my laundry soap off the shelf for me. If you’re smoking in your car with the windows rolled up, I can smell you in my car. With my windows rolled up.

And then there’s perfume. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, if you call it perfume or cologne, the stuff is like an airborne toxin to people like me. It leads in ahead of you like a burning wall, and trails you like tentacles that wrap around everyone’s throat while sucking the air out of the room, blanketing everything with its clingy-heavy smell.

Just because you can’t see perfume doesn’t mean it won’t hurt people

I’ve been asked several times what perfume smells like to me. It smells like breathing kerosene, gravel and barbed wire. If it’s supposed to smell really sweet, or baby fresh, add in the sensation of snorting granulated dish washing detergent.

It’s a show stopper, and on more than one occasion has led to awkward moments when I have to get up and rush out of a conversation or meeting because I simply can’t catch my breath. Saying that you “only put on a little” is akin to saying “I only dropped a small bomb on your house.”

Perfume: It’s like breathing kerosene, barbed wire & gravel

When perfumed people come into my local coffee shop I usually have to hold a napkin over my nose and mouth to breathe, and if the scent is really strong I end up having to rush outside and brave the cigarette smoke until they’re gone. Looking through the window at my drink while I wait is more common than you’d think because remembering to grab the cup while my lungs and throat feel like they’re collapsing is pretty hard to do. Turns out that’s an amazingly distracting sensation.

Drinks don’t taste as good when you can’t get at them

Abandoning my groceries because someone with heavy perfume is in the store? Yeah, I’ve had to do that. When I could finally go back into the store my groceries were still waiting, so that was cool because I didn’t have to start my shopping over.

There are times that I really wish I had a space suit I could wear when I go out just so I wouldn’t have to deal with overpowering perfume smells I face every day. OK, and let’s be honest: wearing a space suit would be really cool.

I know some people really like wearing perfume, and there are people that really love those scents on their friends or significant other. I’m OK with that, and I don’t have any problem with people wearing as much perfume as they want as long as it isn’t in public. The grocery store, the office, at school, your favorite coffee shop, restaurants… those aren’t the places for perfume.

If you enjoy perfume, try thinking of it as an accessory for intimate experiences. The kind of experiences that we associate with the privacy of our homes and bedrooms, not a deep conversation at the coffee shop. Just as I don’t want to be exposed to your perfume over lunch, I’m betting you really don’t want to see me ordering a sandwich while wearing nothing more than naughty underpants.

So how about we agree to keep our intimate stuff, whether it’s perfume or sexy knickers, for our special personal encounters?

And I’m not asking just for me. I’m also asking for everyone else that’s afraid to say something, kids that don’t realize they shouldn’t have to be exposed to smells that burn their eyes and throat, people with asthma, and everyone with allergies.

Deal?

And that’s why I’m totally a danger to myself.

With Apple’s recent unveiling of OS X Mountain Lion it’s no surprise that we had plenty to talk about. A whole hour’s worth of chatting, in fact. Allison is loads of fun to talk with, and without her self control to cut our conversation off after an hour we’d probably still be talking. Days later. Really.

Interested in hearing what I have to say about more iOS features showing up in OS X, Gatekeeper, iCloud, Notification Center, and some rabbit holes we couldn’t help but head down? Then point your browser over to Allison’s Podfeet.com website and take a listen.

Or go the the iTunes Store. Whatever. I’m easy.

I’m lactose intolerant, and I’m pretty good at remembering to ask whether or not there’s dairy in the food I order when I’m out at restaurants. Occasionally I forget, or in this case I failed to ask if the breads Panera makes include milk in the recipes. After I ate half of my sandwich I remembered to ask, and guess what? Several of them do — including the bread on my sandwich (honey wheat, in case you’re keeping score at home).

The manager I happened to ask pulled out a massive tome and listed off all of the breads they make dairy free, and even went so far as to write them all down for me. She wanted to make me a new sandwich, but that didn’t seem right since I forgot to ask and they made exactly what I asked for. She then insisted on giving me new bread for my sandwich and refused to let me pay.

Yes, I know it was in her best interest to go out of her way to take care of me since we live in a lawsuit-happy culture. Not that I’m all about lawsuits, but she didn’t know that. I could tell that wasn’t why she went out of her way to make sure I was happy; she genuinely wanted to take care of me.

I’m a fickle consumer. I dump stores and restaurants faster than Kim Kardashian runs through marriages. All based on a single bad experience. I’m retail’s worst nightmare. OK, maybe I’m not quite that bad, but I can do a really stern look.

I could’ve walked away from Panera unhappy and in search of a new sandwich shop had the manager acted indifferent to my lame dietary needs. Instead, through a simple act, she ensured I’ll be back.

Now to get Panera to work on their crappy Wi-Fi speeds. No really. I can get better bandwidth from a carrier pigeon.

And in case you’re curious, or lactose intolerant, here’s Panera’s list of dairy-free breads:

• Country
• Rye
• Sesame
• Ciabatta
• Focaccia
• Baguette
• French
• Sourdough
• Tomato Basil
• Whole Grain

Here’s the description of my session:

Dropbox, Evernote, MobileMe: The Internet is loaded with cloud-based services designed to make your life easier and keep your files within reach where ever you go. Finding the right services with just the features you need can be a daunting task, so Jeff took care of the headache for you by putting together a list of his favorite online services and apps for your Mac, iPhone, iPod touch and iPad.

I’m speaking from noon to 1PM and I promise to do my best to teach you something — or at least keep you entertained for an hour.

But wait! There’s more! I’ll be speaking on the opening panel event at 9AM where the amazing Adam Christianson from the Maccast will guide us through a discussion on the future of Apple and the impact the company’s products are having on out culture.

Talk about a power house lineup! The panel also includes The Mac Observer’s own Bryan Chaffin, Smile Software’s Jean MacDonald, Jason Snell from Macworld, and David Sparks from Mac Power Users.

Bryan and I will be manning TMO’s expo booth, too, so be sure to drop by and say “hi.” Maybe I’ll draw a picture for you.

If you need to get up to speed on what went down, Bryan Chaffin covered Steve’s retirement announcement at The Mac Observer, and followed up with Apple giving the CEO title to Tim Cook, the man that’s been running the company for the past few months.

Turns out a couple news outlets wanted to chat with me about Steve’s retirement. Here’s a list of the interviews and podcasts I did. For your viewing pleasure, of course:

• Forbes This is an Associated Press article, so you can find it other places, too.
• The Huffington Post Want to see how Trip Chowdry from Global Equities Research and I have very different views of Apple’s ability to perform without Steve? Here you go.
• MacJury Along with Chuck Joiner, Katie Floyd and Bryan Chaffin, we talk about what to expect now that Steve has dropped the CEO title and taken up his new role as Chairman of the Board.
• Reuters Insider Me, live, on Reuters TV. Guess who’s on with me? Yeah, Trip Chowdry. Just in case you don’t get how different our views on Apple post-Jobs are, you totally need to check this out.

There’s a good chance I missed something because the day of and day after Steve’s resignation were crazy busy. If there’s something I need to add to the list, just let me know and I’ll take care of it.

And my opinion in a nutshell: Don’t worry about Apple. It’s still business as usual, and we’ll still see awesome products for years to come. And thanks for all the hard work, Steve.